Investigating the Cool Culture

daviddogma.com

2005-02-25T00:48:00.000-08:00

GO HERE

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2005-01-16T01:18:00.000-08:00

This guy is crazy, but I love reading his stuff. I met him at Dogma Fest a few years ago. Until I get my site under way, check him out. Warning: He might offend some of you out there, so be careful....

Click Here

Something to think about while this is still under construction

2004-12-23T15:12:00.000-08:00

2004-12-07T23:21:00.000-08:00

sorry under construction -

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2004-12-07T23:14:00.004-08:00

2004-12-07T23:14:00.003-08:00

2004-12-07T23:14:00.002-08:00

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2004-12-07T23:13:00.002-08:00

s

;

l

2004-12-07T23:13:00.001-08:00

2004-12-07T23:13:00.000-08:00

This Time Last Year (another excerpt from the book)

2004-11-23T23:59:00.000-08:00

Emergence Chamber

2004-11-09T02:03:00.000-08:00

bbbbbb

2004-11-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

The corporations have spoken...

How Many

2004-11-03T03:42:00.000-08:00

fffff

TO FRONT THE NECESSARY

2004-10-31T01:56:00.000-08:00

lllll

Hey Larry! (for lawrence ferlinghetti)

2004-10-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

oooooooo

g

2004-10-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

new england hat trick

2004-10-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

red sox win in six
patriots undefeated
kerry wins election

i'd vote, if it mattered...

2004-10-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

election dreaming
win two, pa, ohio,
florida, swing it

j

d

i

hate

@$@$%

%$#@!!

n

What kind of load?

2004-10-11T23:33:00.000-07:00

Prolific?

distance

2004-10-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

It was a simple plan really. Find some trouble, get into it, and then run like hell.

Oh By the way...

2004-10-08T02:32:00.000-07:00

Elfriede Jelinek just won the nobel prize for literature joining Steinbeck, Bellow, Hesse, Camus, Shaw, Hemingway, Faulkner, Marquez, Beckett, Satre, Neruda, Mann, and so on. Anyone ever see Piano Teacher? Me neither.....

is

2004-10-08T01:07:00.000-07:00

it is called anger

25 today!

2004-10-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

....And
The "might have been's"

Goofy Foot

2004-09-25T01:05:00.000-07:00

The damn tide

Brought to You By Blogger

2004-09-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

Look at that damn ad

to whom it may/does concern

2004-09-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

selfabsorbed

lwujhfgecowUEYRD89032QYROUBASC

2004-09-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

Call it a love hate relationship with words relationships people places and mostly writing or art or whatever the name that gets used and made up like the names in the back of the local city tabloid straight from key west florida give it up for the beautiful summer remember gentlemen ladies work for tips and tips only – I love my shit hate my shit either way that made up name stays the same for years carrying future dreams like the old bastard in the nursing home who refuses to die because the red sox might just win the whole damn thing this time…..

Breath…..

Breathe….

Anyway….

Latley I’ve been thinking about starting a book club, an online bookclub with a few chosen elite individuals who will REALLY read the book and not just read a few passages the night before or the day of the meeting. Okay, so maybe that was always me, but it must be an out of print hard to find cool ass book that few people know about and I get to pick it.

1 hour later after receiving a phone call from my brother and finally realizing that I won’t be at Winfield this year…..

It suddenly occurs to me that I may be the only member, that in fact, I already have the club going. Damn, and here I thought I was on to something big. Oh well…I didn’t want to wait on slow readers anyway. A book of the month club? Geez….Imagine if there was a video of the month club. I know, I know, it takes longer to read a book, still though…….

Fuck Winfield, been there done that……

How about a Festival of the month club?

Damn computer is dying…..

Time to close the store……..

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

2004-09-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

Two age old questions continue to haunt me:

1. Free Will/Choice vs. Fate/Destiny
2. Objective vs. Subjective Reality

My only conclusion is that all are going on all of the time, and the whole damn thing is absurd anyway. Absurdism is defined as a philosophy based on the belief that the universe is irrational and meaningless and that the search for order brings the individual into conflict with the universe. And yet, I continue to do this. No wonder I like Kafka so much. Fuck, the very idea that someone is reading this because I typed it into a computer makes my point. The existentialists believe that every man must decide for himself the way he should act and should not be bound by other rules. Hey, I believe that too….

Through his writing, Albert Camus said that to be a true existentialist you had to remove yourself from society as much as possible since a belief in the foundation of government was to conform. Since conforming to society norms is considered sometimes good and sometimes bad, it doesn’t allow the individual to progress and reach his own decisions. Camus realized that restricting himself from all social conformity was impossible. In his book, “The Stranger”, Camus depicts a man with very little emotion. In society, the common idea is that light is good and evil grows in the darkest of places, but in the book evil is good and the light is bad. I liked it a lot.

I’ve been reading quite a bit lately. And, I have noticed that most of the writers I like grew up poor. These writers suffered the loss of a parent and sometimes sickness. They were not strangers to heartache. I just can’t relate to rich kids like Fitzgerald and the countless other Ivy League types. I hate old poetmen. One thing I do know for sure. I have to bring the meaning to life, life won’t bring the meaning to me. Leave it to the old chiasmus to help me justify and rationlize (every time I write or say that word I can’t help but think about Covey’s “Rational Lies”). Yep, it is all pretty fucking absurd……

Insert favorite pun, joke, riddle, etc......There's not enough space for a Goddamn Poem, You Asshole!#$wfe

2004-09-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Them: LMAO!

Me: ?!@?@

Them: BRB

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

2004-09-06T01:50:00.000-07:00

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Buy One Dog, Get One Flea…

2004-09-06T01:07:00.000-07:00

Those weak ass poems
don’t fool me…
Your cheap escapism reminds me of
college Shakespeare
delivered
two hours before kick off.

No one in Hawaii reads your shit
And by “shit” I mean “SHIT”
Not “shit” or even
“Shit”
Fuck it
You know what I mean…

Everyone knows you are
Just another square peg…
dreaming of hitting the big time playing
the Congas
and writing
that elusive coming of age
stoner movie

Your books are worth so little
A mere twenty bucks
for a signed first edition
So sad
So very fucking sad

Mister Blanding, I could go on and on
Just like you do
With your poor rhyming schemes
And feeble attempts
Illustration with words
Combining Masefield and Buffett
But I won’t…
Cause it’s been done
It's been said
And, it is very impolite
to make fun of the dead...
Besides, the world doesn’t need
Another
Album of duets featuring
Past and present
Genre selling artists…

dawg is gawd spelled......

2004-09-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

faith is the
gasoline
fueling survival.....

Andy Kaufman Never Fooled Me

2004-09-01T02:32:00.000-07:00

Star struck suckers
Stage
Cool culture promises
While
Jack, Zack,
AND the harp guy
Inhale…

Two ex-old ladies
Doom
The usual suspects
While
Garrett
AND Donovan
Inhale…

The moon smiles
The night laughs
Goodnight
Good night
Exhale…

Stalking Dr. Gonzo
Stalking Dr. Gonzo
Come in, Come in
Doctor….

Back to School....

2004-08-27T22:57:00.001-07:00

Here are some tips for all you kids out there getting back into school, or maybe starting your new job. I tried calling Dogma all day for permission to post another excerpt, but he wasn't around to field my calls. Oh well....I have been trying to convince him that a free download via the web is the best way to get our shit out there - so far he doesn't agree. By the way, I got to meet T.C. Boyle, and the Penguin/Viking people are looking at the book......

Mike Pruneda woke me up at around nine in the morning. He had put me up on a pullout hide-a-bed in the living room of his small suburban Houston apartment. I fell asleep watching his big screen television. It was still on the Playboy channel when he woke me up in the morning and I was hard pressed to be get motivated to do anything other than watch it for another 20 hours or so. The plan was to go over the basic parts of the business, and then spend the afternoon making pitches to random potential clients in order to test our pitch and see if we couldn’t book some new accounts. The morning and afternoon flew by and I was thinking I would finally be able to break the near perfect streak of blackout drunks drug use, and waking up in strange beds that had been forced upon me by my inability to say no. Pushed at me like havarti and dill before a starving rat. If this qualified as down time I was all in.

We went over the presentation steps we would agree to use so we could put them to work in a few places. This way, Mike and I would be consistent when the appointments starting flying our way. The Powerpoint presentation I had put together was surprisingly pretty good. In fact, it was better than I had remembered or hoped when I put it together after getting stoned stupid on Jenny’s couch. I’d never presented or seen it before Mike got his first look at it. Mike and I were equally blown away; it wasn’t bad. I didn’t put much stock in Mike’s amazement since he had a musician’s background.

Mike had worked a few odd jobs here and there scattered around to make ends meet while his metal band was still trying to take off. The band had been together since 1989 and he really felt like the timing was right for them to finally get the big break they had been building up to. The demo of his band was hateful. After he played it for me I had to curb my instinct to chunk it on the ride over to some bar he was convinced would pick up the Smith Music catalog of CD’s.

Mike Pruneda: I guarantee they will at least buy a 128 count rack.

Me: Guarantee?

Mike Pruenda: Yeah, I’ve known these guys for a long time. They’ll do it as a favor if nothing else.

Me: And if they don’t?

Mike Pruneda: They will for sure.

Me: So what if they don’t? How about you take me out? Show me the sites? Get me drunk of my ass?

Mike Pruneda: Hell, I’ll do that anyway.

Me: Yeah?

Mike Pruneda: Oh yeah. There’s a bar called the 19th hole in The Woodlands. I book the bands for them. I drink for free there as payment.

Me: No shit?

Mike Pruneda: No shit. So, we’ll sell the shit, and go get drunk.

Me: Sounds like a plan.

Mike Pruneda: Shit, we won’t even need to show the presentation. It’s all but a done deal anyway.

Me: What do you think? You like the presentation? ’Cause we need to be on the same page with that.

Mike Pruneda: Yeah, I liked it a lot. And maybe we could show the business owners how if all they ever focus on is important and urgent they are always being radioactive.

Managing people has never once changed from the time the first tribal chief sent out the men of the tribe to go hunt up some food or kill off another tribe right up until the boss in “Office Space” asked the main character to come in over the weekend. I told Mike about Covey and Blanchard and a dozen other books written on coercing people. I told him about the idea of being proactive versus reactive. And I told him that these techniques were just glorified, bestselling ways to turn managers into good salespeople.

Me: Reactive versus proactive?

Mike Pruneda: Yeah. It made an impression on me anyway.

Me: There’s a ton more of that shit too.

Mike Pruneda: Yeah I bet.

Me: Look, it’s just sales. You never fucking ask when trying to sell something. You’ve heard that right? Hey, roll down your window.

Mike Pruneda (rolling down his window): I’m confused.

Me: Dude, it’s just like that. See, I told you to roll down your window and you did. I didn’t say, ‘Hey Mike, would you please roll down your window if you get a second.’ See the difference?

Mike Pruneda: So you tricked me?

Me: More or less, yeah. If you want to look at it that way. Selling is telling not asking. Everything is five steps. The product, what you’re tryin’ to get someone to buy makes no difference at all. If you’re trying get laid in a bar, it’s five steps. Greet, qualify, present, demonstrate, close, and that’s it.

Mike Pruneda: How’s that?

Me: Alright, let’s say you see some chick at the bar. You go up and introduce yourself. That’s your greeting. If you wait on her it’s probably not going to happen. Just like a customer isn’t going to call us on the phone and ask if they can purchase a 256 count rack, right? Then you have to qualify. Is she married? Does she have a boyfriend? If it was cars you would want to know what kind of car they’re looking for. Do they have a trade in? Is the car for them or someone else? Find the decision maker. For us it’s whether these people ever tried music in their store before? Did it sell? Why not? Remember the presentation? And not matter what the product it’s always the same thing. So anyway, then you have to present the product. In the case of the girl at the bar, well, the product is you. Or whatever you want to really show off your intellect, or sense of humor, or whatever it is you call your good points. In your case you might want to name drop your band or the people you’ve opened for, whatever is going to get her interested. Then you demonstrate yourself.

Mike Pruneda: So that’s when you like whip out your shit and say, ‘Why don’t you sit on my lap so I can talk to you and we’ll see what comes up.’

Me: Pretty much, dude.

Mike drove and I was brimming with corporate wisdom. I must have barraged Mike with virtually everything I had in me. The five parts of a sale; the three reasons people don’t buy –namely the person, product, or price; the difference between a feature and a benefit. Sold, Sold, Sold American! In the shotgun seat of Mike’s car as we shoved through Houston cross town traffic I became a demented carnival barker shooting off sales training clichés inspired by everyone from Zig Zigler to P.T. Barnum. As I spewed Mike started out impressed and wanting to learn and ended up freaked out and I can’t say I blame him. There’s nothing worse than watching your boss have a mental meltdown while riding shotgun on the way to your first pitch, especially when you’re pitching people who owe you a favor and never really needed to be sold in the first place. I think I had a flashback to my state of mind from the drive back from Lubbock because Mike kept asking me to repeat what I said when I was sure I hadn’t said a word.

When he was working for me Dogma had outright refused to go through any of the various books of the sales prophets which were required reading for management and when I tried to write him up for it he challenged me on religious grounds. He knew it was absurd and so did I but we both had to play out our roles. He was employee and I was employer and as such his claim of harassment on religious grounds had to be taken seriously. He claimed the manipulation techniques taught in the books were satanic in their conception since they were designed to finagle people out of their free will. He had a case and made a good argument and after it was all over and it had gone to the lawyers, Dogma won. They didn’t want to risk it. In my book it was just one more reason to love Dogma.

The shrooms had left my system but I think the God's decided to stick around. I was reeling through not just everything I knew about sales and management but it felt like I was going through absolutely everything I knew. It rewound and fast-forwarded, skipped, looped, tracks got jumbled and merged, faded in and out, and finally it balled itself up and bounced away. Mike went from freaked out to a little scared out of his mind. What I thought was a chuckle of self-amusement I guess sounded more to him like a cackle of mania.

The Ultimate Chiasmus

2004-08-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

I fart more than I fuck...

BUT...

I fuck better than I fart

Was it? Could it? Nahh.......

2004-08-23T16:31:00.002-07:00

Hank, did I see you at the racetrack three days ago?
I needed a conversation…
A tip….
Who did you have for the exacta?
Did you box the three inside horses like I did?

Hank, was that you hanging out at the bar the day before yesterday?
I took a piss….
And just missed….
You
Telling that fat cunt that she needs to lose weight….
Did she go home with you?

Hank, I could have sworn I saw you last night……
Howling…
At the stars….
Were you screaming?
Cause you never play with words.

Hank, was that today
When you read me into a nap?
It had to be you.....
Cause those old fucking poetmen
Never say things straight out
Like you do.

It's Sushi Sunday

2004-08-22T02:06:00.000-07:00

So Relax, all is fine in the world.....

"Balls Off the Wall" or "Stonez"

2004-08-16T22:28:00.000-07:00

You read it here first. I have the idea for a one-of-a-kind shop. It's a full-on retail store where no women are allowed inside (okay, so maybe they could come in since the supreme court says I cannot stop them, but they won't want to). It will be a store centered around "Vintage Underground items for the intellectual Alpha Male". We will be careful not to be too mainstream, so icons like Hunter Thompson and Charles Bukowski might be a little too close to the edge. Luckily I love these guys, and it is my idea, so fuck it - their books and shit will be for sale. We will only carry the best porn, hot sauce, and beef jerky in the world, and no girly-men and/or especially gay men will not be allowed (I think I still have the Supreme Court on my side for this one - this means no Allen Ginsberg or William Burroughs stuff will make it to the shelves, I know kinda sad - but one must draw the line somewhere. Besides, not enough people are reading John Fante these days, and anyone worth a shit knows HE was the reason Buk ever wanted to write in the first place). Smoking will not only be allowed, but will be mandatory. And, a shot of liquor is also required for membership (one must be a member to "shop" at this place, and the liquor must be at least 70 proof - so yes, Jagermeister is acceptable). Any ideas are appreciated. I aleady have Tom Leykis lined up as a spokesperson. Does anyone know any venture capitalists?

Stay Up and Study all Night...

2004-08-14T02:26:00.000-07:00

So far I got 7 emails and 2 phone calls all requesting my fool proof method for beating the piss test. Dogma will probably kick my ass for continuing to post from the book, but I don't want to have to re-write the damn thing, so I copied straight from the manuscript.

Andy (to Scott): Dude, I forgot my guitar.

Scott: Figures. And, I didn’t bring an extra. You know why?

Andy (taking up the punchline): ‘Cause you don’t have an extra.

Scott (to Andy): Just get up there and sing a couple of fuckin’ songs. Use my guitar. Don’t break any strings ‘cause those’re all I got. Got any weed?

Andy: Yeah, but you can’t have any. You got to take that test next week, remember? Probation? Remember?

Me (to Scott): I have a way that works every time.

I described the only truly effective way to pass a piss test. Eight days before you piss stop doing your contraband of choice. Then drink a gallon of water 45 minutes before the test, take Vitamin B and Creatine. The water dilutes your system, the Creatine proves you didn’t dilute it, and the B vitamin will give the piss color. And, always piss in the cup midstream. Trust me, on this one, folks. Works like a charm.

Andy (to Me): Yer more fulla shit than yer brother, shit. .

Me: I may be drunk, but seriously I know what I’m talking about.

Scott (laughing): Sounds like the name of an album.

Andy (shouting to me as he was walking toward the stage): So who’s the bitch you brought, or’d she bring you?

Mason Jennings, Email me tomorrow...

2004-08-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

Wanderlust rambles
Carrying tradition on her shoulders
Like….
A song,
Eating lunch
All by herself

Meanwhile
Old poetmen
Pretend to sleep
Allergic to the sweat
Of workers in the heat

They (those worthless bastards) never
Walked ten miles
Uphill either way
In the snow or otherwise

They (those lazy hippies) never
Traded muscle for pay
Taking orders
Indoors or otherwise

Wanderlust rambles
Carrying tradition on her shoulders
With….
A new generation
Dancing
To the same tune

R.I.P. Rick Smith (12/3/56 - 8/7/04)

2004-08-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

Rick Smith, founder of Smith Music, died on Saturday, August 7, 2004 in Ft. Worth, TX.

Chances are you never heard of the guy. We seldom keep up with former bosses, but this one was different. I have included a bit of my soon-to-be-published novel as a tribute to my former boss. Damn, Rick, I will miss you....

After the drunk left me, the Red Bull took over and I got next to no sleep. I was up anyway so I figured I’d make an extra early appearance at Smith Music. I lucked out since apparently there was a Staff meeting scheduled for that day. Wendy had left a message on my voicemail sometime between yesterday morning and late last night, with the details. I’d worked for years in the corporate world and had my share of shitty bosses, so I wasn’t worried about being unprepared. In the event I am ever caught unprepared for a meeting I just keep my mouth shut and look over the handouts from whoever is presenting. Then I question their data at some dull moment or when someone asks me for an opinion. In this way I give a show of being the guy who is looking for the message behind the numbers. As with the piss test formula, it’s never failed me yet.

The message said the meeting would start “promptly at nine”. It was 8:45. I was alone in the office. Rick was in Nashville all week, and the majority of the staff normally arrived at the work place some time between 9:00 and 9:30. I wondered if this was also the norm when Rick was in town. Wendy showed up right before 9 o’clock and caught me in the middle of breakfast. She waved at me as she entered her office.

By 10 o’clock the rest of the happy work force had managed to find their way to work. Except: no Casey and no Rick. I sat in Corbin’s office trying to get the lowdown on my new friends. Apparently, it was the thing at Smith Music for meetings to change start times. According to Corbin, they shifted days on a regular basis as well. She was pretty sure the meeting wouldn’t happen. She had known Casey since her days as an A&M DJ and was concerned that if it did happen, and he wasn’t around he would catch hell. It all depended on Rick’s mood, of course. Everyone agreed he was a moody bastard, and if he did show up on Friday to have a meeting it couldn’t be a good thing.

Rick Smith strolled into the office promptly at 11:30AM. It was the first time I saw him in person, and the first time I was ever in his office. I fell into my seat on one of the two dark leather couches after stumbling on the head of the bear rug in his office. He greeted me with a smile as I shook his hand. Without anyone having to say anything to the effect, the meeting started. Rick ran a meeting by stream of consciousness. As far as I could tell, he had no agenda or game plan. He asked tons of questions and ignored the answers in favor of some one of a thousand random private thoughts that ran through hm and fought to take complete control of his brain. He rarely waited for an answer to any of his questions before he went off on another tangent. I liked him right away.

Rick: Who’s not here?

Wendy: Casey, Amanda, Bobby Turner

Rick: Why the fuck not…? So, how’s everyone been…?

Rick (to Corbin): I guess I’ll start with you. What’s shakin’, Blondie?

Corbin (pulling out a leather planner): Well, it appears that our music is in 80% of the markets in the state of Texas, and we are getting airplay from stations as far northeast as New York, and as far west as The Bay area in California.

Wendy: I called them and left messages, but you can’t call a meeting and expect everyone to show with less than 24 hours notice.

Rick: Why the fuck not? What kind of salesperson doesn’t have a fuckin’ cellphone that they answer?

Rick (to me): Hear you’ve been a real hotshot around here? I hear you already sold somethin’?

Me: Yeah, I got some things workin’…

Rick (handing me a paper napkin with writing on it): Here’s the number to a guy that used to work at Southwest. Frank Jackson says he’s the shit too. He lives down in Houston. We gotta get our shit all over the state. Put his ass through the drill.

Me: Okay, I’ll call him.

Rick (to Wendy): What the fuck’re we gonna do for space around this joint?

Wendy: Well, we’re making do.

Rick: At least now we know who’s dedicated and who isn’t. Who’s loyal and who just wants a check. Where in the hell is Casey? He get laid or somethin’?

Big Nate (to Rick): Who tha fuck knows? I sure hope so.

Rick (to me): You like that office you’re in? Sucks, huh? I had to put you somewhere. Warehouse was all we had. Besides, you need your ass out there selling shit, not in here shootin’ the shit with people who are just costin’ me money.

Me: I’ll be fine.

Rick: Well, just wanted to see everyone and let y’all know I made some real progress on the shit we’re doin’. The Willie CD is going to make all of us a shitload of money. You guys can all leave, or go to lunch, or do whatever the hell it is you do when I ain’t here. Nate and Dave, you guys’re comin’ with me. I’m takin’ you to lunch.

I sat between Big Nate and Rick in his white one ton Dodge Dually. Big Nate was looking out the window, and the music inside the pickup was uncomfortably loud. Rick was listening to what sounded like an old Ray Wylie Hubbard album. I wasn’t for sure, it might have been Terry Allen.

Rick (turning down the music, to Nate): You got it?

Big Nate: Yeah, I got it.

Rick (to me): Son, you had your drug test yet?

Me: Huh?

Rick (laughing): Just a precaution you understand. We can’t be havin’ any problems or misunderstandings. It’s the Law, right, Nate?

Big Nate: Yeah, yeah, nobody works for Rick who don’t pass a drug test.

Me: Well I gotta tell you boys, there is no way I’m gonna…

Rick: Son, You’re about to test some of the best drugs around.

Big Nate (pulling out a packed bowl from the pocket of his shirt): Rick, I think yer boy just about shit his pants. Here, this here is the best.

Me: The Best, huh?

Big Nate: Seriously, that’s what it is called.

Rick: You’ve heard of Northern Lights? Acapulco Gold?

Me: Yeah, like the Strand, you mean?

Big Nate: Strand, or Strain or whatever name, you know. That’s what this is, and it ain’t called that for no reason.

Rick: Test it, son. Smith Music needs to make sure you’re a fit for this fine organization.

Big Nate: Yeah. Got this from Stoner Bob. Willie’s dope dealer.

Me: No shit? Directly from…

Rick: Well, from Poodie Locke, Willie’s Road Manger anyway. You never heard of Stoner Bob, understand?

Big Nate (passing me the bowl): Getcha a nice green hit.

Rick (laughing): Damn, son this stuff will skull fuck ya if you hold it in like that.

Me (taking a college boy hit and talking in the resulting stereotypical stoner voice while I tried to hold my breath): Yeah.

Big Nate: Goddamn, Rick, I’m glad I didn’t roll a joint with that stuff. Two hits and it’d be gone.

Rick: Son, don’t get too stoned, you’re supposed to be at the airport in a couple hours.

Big Nate: Yeah, you’re pickin’ up Pat Green.

Me: Why do I gotta do it?

Rick: Shit, you’re the FNG. He’s movin’ up in the world. If you don’t do it his record company will and the next thing you know we’re out.

Big Nate (to me): I’ll give you some of the best to take with you. He ought to dig that.

Me: Doesn’t his record company have people for him?

Rick: Talked to Jimmy Perkins and told him I’d handle it.

Big Nate: Why? Don’t you wanna meet Pat Green? I figured you would, it’s cool meeting famous people. Shit, Casey’d love to go, thought you might like meeting him and all.

Ten Thousand Comedians Out Of Work.....

2004-08-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

Across from the House of Blues (Where Pat Green was playing), I checked out the legendary nightclub, The Comedy Store....

Some old bastard outside said he knew Bill Hicks pretty well, and claimed "he was a just another nice guy who had a lot to say". I wonder if Mr. Hicks would have a blog?

a league or a fathom?

2004-08-05T00:52:00.000-07:00

Racine, Wisconsin or Reno, Nevada?
Mount Rushmore or The Mall of America?
Canada?
Mexico?
Boston for Chowder or Seattle for coffee?
That's just the way I roll, got a little gyspy in my soul.....
I'd call Scott Copeland today, but I think he's screening calls.

You Must....

2004-08-03T01:56:00.000-07:00

Go to a USED bookstore (okay, new bookstore if you don't know where a used store is - I hate people who don't know that the prices of used books are almost always written in pencil on the INSIDE of the book.) and buy a copy, any copy, of a Richard Brautigan book.....Pretty please?!?! You'll thank me later.....

Customer: Where's the price on the book?

Me: I guess you've never been to a used bookstore before?

Councilman (err councilperson, just in case I do run I should be politically correct) Dave?

2004-08-03T01:35:00.000-07:00

Hi Dave,

How's it been? About a month or so since I visited you at your bookstore and talked with you about the Green Party. Meanwhile, I've been talking you up among the other local activists and I've encouraged them to look you up. I hope you had a chance to meet some of them.

When I was there, we discussed several things: Running for office, hosting a Green meeting or a campaign rally, joining the county council, etc. Are you still interested in any of those things? The "Running for office" option is a limited window of opportunity, as paperwork needs to be pulled and signatures gathered and re-filed by Friday, August 6. The others are less time-constrained, of course, but I'd like to see them happen if you're interested. Drop me a line and let me know!

-Stuart Bechman
Green Party of Ventura

Democratic Convention Notes (Continued)....

2004-07-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

Check out the two strong sentences taken from Kerry's democratic convention speech:

"It's time for those who talk about family values to start valuing families..."

"We shouldn't worry if God is on our side, but if we are on the side of God"

This is called a chiasmus (ky-AZ-mus) n .a reversal in the order of words in two otherwise parallel phrases.chiastic adj. Think about John Kennedy's, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but...." line and you got it. It's an often overlooked tool, and an importantly strong one in writing and speechmaking. I was glad to see it utilized by a guy who just might end up getting my vote after all. It will be interesting to see what happens in the next 3 months.

Democratic Convention Notes...

2004-07-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

Was it just me or did THIS GUY get your energy level up there too? I miss Howard Dean, he should have been the candidate. I just cannot get into John Kerry, as much as I wish I could. Hell, he couldn't even get the baseball over the plate when he threw out the first pitch at the Red Sox-Yankees game on Sunday. Call me old fashioned, but I just cannot vote for a man who can't throw a baseball. At least throw a wild pitch. Who knows, maybe he will wow me on Thursday....Until then I am still voting Green.

Six Shots of Sake Sonnet

2004-07-25T22:08:00.000-07:00

Holding the hand of a sonnet in savage delight,
Gently touching the backlash of the majestic divine,
Rhyming in quatrain lends catastrophic fright,
Since color can show the richness of mind;
Violets are blue and roses are red,
Both are blended in the spectrum by the sun and rain,
The sky streaks a rainbow masking faces of the dead
Feigning illusions, into madness, shivering pain;
Stealing from Bill where all beauty lies,
Gone is the treasure from those lusty days;
To say, within my own deep sunken eyes,
Just all-eating shame, and more thankless praise.
Formalists lack soul, and spirit, and character;
The new heroes with words hate iambic pentameter….

on standing pat

2004-07-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

silly sand castle........
trying to stop
the sea

i know i do

2004-07-22T23:05:00.000-07:00

who else wants to go on a twenty four hour sale shopping spree shaping spiritual sizes with yesterdays technology while the box opened last week has the same money back guaranteed warranty tripled with assuring insurance and certain certification backed by bastardized bonded bargains promising to be another sure thing

Perceptions

2004-07-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

Your perception of me is that I am never wrong. I guess, I create that impression. I was just trying to create an environment, a setting, a place where Socrates might enjoy sitting and talking and drinking. But, now I am reminded that you never really gave a shit about Socrates or Martin Luther King and you simply wanted me to tell you it would all be okay. And, I am sorry for that. I apologize for arguing both sides so much that I can't ever truly be wrong. I didn't mean to, I never planned it that way, and now I know. My intentions were never to be pretenious or talk above you, around you, or be so full of shit that you never really knew what I was saying. Sorry it came out that way. When ten people tell me the sky is red, and I still see blue, it is hard for me to think of it any other color. I know, who am I to argue, right? I will do my best going forward to change. Again, I am sorry.

10 importants things to remember - A quick note to myself...

2004-07-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Dave,

1. You are on to something with your comparing Texas and California. Some people don't see it, but facts are facts (Agriculture, area and populations, GNP, industry and wealth, famous people, political views, entertainment, etc.). The states are very similar and the people aren't as different as they (the people in the two states) want to believe. There will probably be ignorant comments on this blog arguing this point, and that is okay.

2. We live in a country with the ability to experience more hobbies and activites than anywhere else in the world, at any other time in the world. Welcome these new things into your life. Just because you suck at surfing, remember that you can get better if you practice.

3. From Tom Blake to Native American LaCrosse stories, the depth of a niche is damn near incomprehensible.

4. With knowledge comes responsibility. At a certain point, the more you know about a subject the harder it becomes to learn. Keep the law of diminishing returns in mind as you learn about one subject.

5. There will always be someone who knows more about any subject than you do.

6. There will always be someone who knows more about more subjects than you do.

7. Don't be an asshole when you try to teach or enlighten an ignorant person.

8. Over 50% of the time ignorance is a choice.

9. Wear sunscreen the next time you drive with the top down for a long period of time in the sun.

10. Buying a carton of cigarettes over a pack is almost always the better purchase. Unless you (we) plan on quitting smoking after this pack, you will want another one.  You have got to quit pissing and burning your money away.



Love Always,

Dave :-)

All

2004-07-15T02:37:00.000-07:00

have are words

2004-07-15T02:36:00.001-07:00

They shatter
The four walls

Into

2004-07-15T02:34:00.000-07:00

million

2004-07-15T02:33:00.000-07:00

pieces

I Got Your Magnum Opus Right Here

2004-07-14T00:53:00.000-07:00

Blessed are the meaningless meek,
And trade this – the body of Christ for
What’s left
Of your
Dollar
While I drive home in my new Cadillac
Cause I buy American, baby…
So pull that trigger,
And
Take your fashion
And
Treat yourself
Have one more on me
For “thy” stomach’s sake
And, remember
You
Need
Me (A lot more than I need you)
I sling the bullshit better
And
Faster than
Anyone else
Around

What's the big deal?

2004-07-09T10:14:00.000-07:00

Not even 1000 American soldiers have been killed since the assault on Iraq began over one year ago, and yet people all over the country are crying to get the soldiers home? The ratio of American lives to Iraqi lives has got to be over 1000 to 1 - damn nice odds in any contest. Everyone knows that an American life is worth at least 1000 times more than any citizen of another country, so we are ahead of schedule. We could even kill off a few more troops and still be way ahead. Hey, they've been getting tax payer dollars for years, I say it is time for them to earn their money. You have a friend/relative in Iraq? Should I feel sorry for you and her/him? Let's keep our fingers crossed that he/she paid attention in training and doesn't do something stupid (which is what has accounted for 90% of the deaths so far). Don't worry about it, we're all going to die someday. Think the deaths are in vain? Well, the economy is moving in the right direction, gas prices are down, and property values are at an all time high. When the stock market gets back up (and it will), we are talking Bullish results. And, that is worth fighting for! So let's all get behind the president and support the war. We have won this sucker, and it is time to celebrate the death and destruction of yet another country. We have earned it! Stand up for the President!

Interesting Statistics

2004-07-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

According to MENSAMF:

1. Europeans read on average 1.25 books per week.

2. Americans read on average .75 books per year.

3. European new and used bookstores have closed and opened at around 10% over the last 20 years.

4. American new bookstores have opened and closed at 50% over the last 20 years (Independent owned bookstores have been replaced by Chain stores like Barnes and Noble).

5. American used bookstores have closed at a staggering 75% over the last 20 years.

6. American video stores have opened at the same 75% rate.

7. The average European watches 1.5 hours of television per week.

8. The average American watches 8.5 hours of television per week (does not include video rentals).

More Propaganda

2004-07-01T01:01:00.000-07:00

I got an email from one of the many fans of this site with THIS link. As it turns out, there is a new documentary coming soon...

Celebrity Deathmatch: Michael Moore vs. Rush Limbaugh

2004-06-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

People are calling, "Fahrenheit 9/11" the first revolutionary film in decades. Maybe so, and it certainly isn't a documentary - but after seeing the thing, I feel a little cheated. I learned nothing I didn't already know, and I felt the same way I used after checking out Rush Limbaugh when he was on television a few years ago. Other than coming from the opposite viewpoint, what is really the difference between the two (so-called) journalists? It always has been and always will be easy to point out all the flaws of a current presidential administration, but I don't see Michael Moore's fat ass running for Governor of a state. He keeps telling us about the issues in Flint, Michigan, but I don't recall hearing about him running for office. And, why is that? Shit, he would probably win if he did. All I'm sayin' is that BOTH Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh have made millions of dollars off of the American consumer-driven public by providing presidential bashing entertainment. Where's the documentary on that? I'm STILL voting for David Cobb for President! Even if McCain (and it ain't gonna happen) runs with Kerry...

Shame

2004-06-28T00:52:00.000-07:00

Thinking crying gay
His fist smashed her face again
It takes time to learn

Green and Growing!!!

2004-06-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

Be sure and listen to the link before this one too. The haiku's will be coming back soon.

David Cobb for President (Part One)

2004-06-27T22:26:00.000-07:00

Ten Key Values of the Green Party

2004-06-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

It's time to take a break from the haiku's. We're talking grassroots democracy here. You've heard about it, but you may not know what the Green's stand for. People keep asking me who I am voting for, and I will put down in writing that I am tired of voting AGAINST who I hate, and I will be voting FOR what and who I want. David Cobb for president! Who?!?!? That's right, Nader isn't the man of the Green party, despite what you may think. It's time to get instant runoff voting in this country. Fuck, if it is good enough for the Heisman and Academy Awards (as well as several countries in the world) - shouldn't it be good enough for our country? Instant Runoff baby. Check it out here.

1. GRASSROOTS DEMOCRACY
Every human being deserves a say in the decisions that affect their lives and not be subject to the will of another. Therefore, we will work to increase public participation at every level of government and to ensure that our public representatives are fully accountable to the people who elect them. We will also work to create new types of political organizations which expand the process of participatory democracy by directly including citizens in the decision-making process.

2. SOCIAL JUSTICE AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
All persons should have the rights and opportunity to benefit equally from the resources afforded us by society and the environment. We must consciously confront in ourselves, our organizations, and society at large, barriers such as racism and class oppression, sexism and homophobia, ageism and disability, which act to deny fair treatment and equal justice under the law.

3. ECOLOGICAL WISDOM
Human societies must operate with the understanding that we are part of nature, not separate from nature. We must maintain an ecological balance and live within the ecological and resource limits of our communities and our planet. We support a sustainable society which utilizes resources in such a way that future generations will benefit and not suffer from the practices of our generation. To this end we must practice agriculture which replenishes the soil; move to an energy efficient economy; and live in ways that respect the integrity of natural systems.

4. NON-VIOLENCE
It is essential that we develop effective alternatives to society’s current patterns of violence. We will work to demilitarize, and eliminate weapons of mass destruction, without being naive about the intentions of other governments. We recognize the need for self-defense and the defense of others who are in helpless situations. We promote non-violent methods to oppose practices and policies with which we disagree, and will guide our actions toward lasting personal, community and global peace.

5. DECENTRALIZATION
Centralization of wealth and power contributes to social and economic injustice, environmental destruction, and militarization. Therefore, we support a restructuring of social, political and economic institutions away from a system which is controlled by and mostly benefits the powerful few, to a democratic, less bureaucratic system. Decision-making should, as much as possible, remain at the individual and local level, while assuring that civil rights are protected for all citizens.

6. COMMUNITY-BASED ECONOMICS AND ECONOMIC JUSTICE
We recognize it is essential to create a vibrant and sustainable economic system, one that can create jobs and provide a decent standard of living for all people while maintaining a healthy ecological balance. A successful economic system will offer meaningful work with dignity, while paying a “living wage” which reflects the real value of a person’s work.

Local communities must look to economic development that assures protection of the environment and workers’ rights; broad citizen participation in planning; and enhancement of our “quality of life.” We support independently owned and operated companies which are socially responsible, as well as co-operatives and public enterprises that distribute resources and control to more people through democratic participation.

7. FEMINISM AND GENDER EQUITY
We have inherited a social system based on male domination of politics and economics. We call for the replacement of the cultural ethics of domination and control with more cooperative ways of interacting that respect differences of opinion and gender. Human values such as equity between the sexes, interpersonal responsibility, and honesty must be developed with moral conscience. We should remember that the process that determines our decisions and actions is just as important as achieving the outcome we want.

8. RESPECT FOR DIVERSITY
We believe it is important to value cultural, ethnic, racial, sexual, religious and spiritual diversity, and to promote the development of respectful relationships across these lines.

We believe that the many diverse elements of society should be reflected in our organizations and decision-making bodies, and we support the leadership of people who have been traditionally closed out of leadership roles. We acknowledge and encourage respect for other life forms than our own and the preservation of biodiversity.

9. PERSONAL AND GLOBAL RESPONSIBILITY
We encourage individuals to act to improve their personal well-being and, at the same time, to enhance ecological balance and social harmony. We seek to join with people and organizations around the world to foster peace, economic justice, and the health of the planet.

10. FUTURE FOCUS AND SUSTAINABILITY
Our actions and policies should be motivated by long-term goals. We seek to protect valuable natural resources, safely disposing of or “unmaking” all waste we create, while developing a sustainable economics that does not depend on continual expansion for survival. We must counterbalance the drive for short-term profits by assuring that economic development, new technologies, and fiscal policies are responsible to future generations who will inherit the results of our actions.

Envy

2004-06-26T00:33:00.000-07:00

I often wonder
Why, him? Does she need a man?
If so, why not me?

Happiness

2004-06-26T00:20:00.000-07:00

Beer, blown money found
Sunshine, music, wine, fresh food
Kine bud, sex, no job!

Sympathy

2004-06-25T00:02:00.001-07:00

What a bitch you are…
One finger pointing at me
Four point back at you…

Anger

2004-06-25T00:02:00.000-07:00

Fuck you! Goddammit!
Your life, My life – Worthless Shit!
I hate you cunt! Die!

Emotional Hiaku's

2004-06-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

(Foreward)

A few years ago Dogma and I discussed the idea of feelings and art. We talked about how the most important paintings don't just capture, but actually evoke a feeling(s). We argued it out until we reached a conclusion that the genuine artist (whether it is Michael Jordan or Paul Gauguin), can capture and evoke a moment, or a feeling through some form of communication. It goes without saying the following pages are a work in progress, and I will continue to do my best to both grab and conjure every primary, secondary, and subset emotion I have ever felt. Since I cannot draw, act, sing, photograph, paint, dance, golf, play banjo, or recite Shakespeare very well I am stuck with these limited words. I have chosen the 5-7-5 haiku form, because if I can't nail the feeling in a few words, a paragraph won't be of much more use. A metaphor? As my old man used to say, "Boy, if you can't hit him in 6 shots, you may as well just give up." Anyway, stick with me on this one - I just might be on to something...

Sounds, five seven five
Sometimes nature, not always
Communication

Happy Birthday

2004-06-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

You were born with Heather and Carson, 7 before Kurt, 24 before Meryl, 37 before Kris, and 67 before Anne…
Two years later Jaws was all the rage, Paul had wings, and a fat Elvis was still selling out concert venues all around the world…
In ’76 Frampton came alive while Travolta was welcomed back…
When you turned 7 the empire struck back with Jake and Elroy and a year later Chapman pled guilty as the world missed John…
Your 11th birthday found ghostbusting gremlins fighting the karate kid, and Madonna started her climb the next summer…
Sweet 16 found another Bush running things while people burned the flag…
21 found you legal, Dave Alvin on Fresh Aire, Clinton in the white house, and the Houston Rockets champions of the world…
There was an eclipse under African skies when you turned 28 as you cut the cake while your saves rate barely maintained acceptable performance…
2002 meant 29 and people all over the world were bloggin’, meanwhile you cut the cake as your saves rates slightly improved…
There were poems and songs and storms and tornadoes all over the world when you finally entered your 30’s while Harry Potter wore a Levi’s jacket and fought snails, new Toyotas, and baseball cut steaks at the beach…
30 might have ended on a bad note, but today starts a new day, a new year, as I am reminded that everyday you are born…

Captain's Log, June 21st, 12:33AM

2004-06-21T00:19:00.000-07:00

Another day with nothing but sun and no rain. How do all the oranges manage to stay so juicy? Father's Day was another success involving short phone calls to and from. My travels have turned inward once again, and all is well. In fact, my confidence is at an all time high, and this is quite possibly the best I have ever felt emotionally and spiritually (if only my back didn't ache...). If it weren't for past experience I just might just enjoy it all, let it all sink in and shit, but as they say - Behind ever cloud is a silver lining, but behind every silver lining is another cloud. And so it goes. I find it amusing that creativity seems to follow long bouts of depression. Good writing seems to follow cold steel in the mouth. When the gun is in the drawer for a few days it is almost as if there is nothing to say. No news is good news. And so it goes. It just goes on and on and on and on and on it goes. Ahh, in times like these. Fuck, I had something just now, but a Goddamn ant ran up my leg. So much for the muse. I'm not normally one to promote current movies and books, but if you are looking for a good summer book check out T.C. Boyle's, "Drop City". And, for a movie rental check out, "Lucky". Don't worry, you don't have to know what Bloomsday is to like them. Being a little open-minded wouldn't hurt though...

Randy Sibley, mobile - 559-970-7493

2004-06-18T00:28:00.001-07:00

The following is another email sent to Dave. I'm not sure if Dave was in the Army (and if he was I could never imagine him winning a medal) or if he is 40 years old or not. He does live around Santa Barbara, and from what I know seems completely insane. Dave isn't answering my phone calls so I am going to drunk dial Randy "r." Sibley instead. Who wants to join me? Oh Dave, Dave?!?!? Anyway, here's the email:

Who are you?

I am looking for a guy named Jon David Ray - went by Dave - that I was in the Army with...Is that you?

In case you aren't sure - this guy was from Santa Barbara. He was a lifeguard and a surfer. Was married to a lady from Germany. Had 2 beautiful daughters. And he was completely insane. As well as holder of the highest award for valor you can get in peacetime - the Soldier's Medal. You should be about 40 years old if you're this guy...

Are you that guy?

If you're not this guy - who are you? Your website is full of some crazy shit. Very entertaining with not a little talent. Good stuff. Published anything?

r.

Randy Sibley
mobile - 559-970-7493

ash and kim

2004-06-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

wandering wonder
streaming live and playing out
side in lost sunshine

bloomsday

2004-06-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

dogma knows this day
dumb illiterate bastards
will not understand

2004-06-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

2004-06-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

Gentle in the Day

2004-06-15T02:44:00.000-07:00

D: I’m sure I have some Dylan Thomas around here somewhere.

M: Don’t tease me.

D: I’m not; I know it’s here. Wow, I didn’t know I had a Michael McClure book of poetry? You interested in this stuff?

M: Nope.

D: You don’t like the beats?

M: Not even one little bit.

D: Why not?

M: Because it’s all bullshit stream of consciousness. There’s no technique. Anyone can do that.

D: You don’t like Kerouac?

M: Not really.

D: What about the post beat writers? Like Brautigan?

M: What did he write, Watermelon something?

D: Yeah. Watermelon Sugar. And, Trout Fishing in America.

M: He’s allright. Still, little technique. Nothing like Dylan Thomas or Keats or even Emily Dickinson for that matter. Free verse is poor writing. Gimme iambic pentameter or a simple sonnet. Something that makes sense. Something that shows intelligence. The writers I hang out with laugh at those beat guys. The beats were wannabe rock stars disguised in hipster clothing.

D: What about Bukowski?

M: He sucks. I know a lot of people in this area who knew him before he died. He was a laughing stock.

D: Really?

M: Yeah. He still is to any serious poet.

D: I take it you consider yourself a serious poet?

M: Well, I take my craft seriously.

D: What about heart and soul? Capturing the moment?

M: You can do that too. But, first learn the craft, ya know?

D: I always thought many of the beat poets claimed Dylan Thomas as an influence?

M: So they say. I just don’t think they had much of an education.

D: I thought Dylan Thomas had little formal education?

M: Are you kidding? His father was an English teacher. He was writing fucking poems when he was 12. Winning contests in his teens.

D: I don’t know a lot about him. What’s his famous poem? Don’t go quietly into the night?

M: Gentle into the night. And, THAT is brilliance.

D: You ever do any poetry readings?

M: I don’t care much for that flashy stuff. I have a poetry book coming out in a few months though. I like poet circles sometimes. I go to the ones in L.A. sometimes.

D: They have one here every month. Kinda quiet little new age thing though.

M: Mine is led by Ray Bradbury. Hey, if you don’t have that Dylan Thomas poetry book I better be getting along. It’s a long bike ride back to Ventura.

D: Okay. See ya around

Email from Jordan

2004-06-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

The following is an email sent to Dave by his good friend, Jordan Mycoskie. I am quite sure Dave misses him too:

Dave,
Three weeks ago an old bum-hippie showed up at the Elephant before Kurt and
I
started playing. I ended up stoned with him before the show, and he told me
great things. Normally I would have brushed him off, but his eyes were so
deep.
He reminded me of you. He had so much hope in life...that is all he
had...and a backpack,
said the highway was his home...a classical guitar without strings, a
picture taped to the
front of it, of him doing a flip with his guitar on fry street in Denton.
His name was
Flipper, he said he was Johnny Horton's son. He talked of the feeling of
grabbing an entire
audience with a song, that only a performer could know. The last two lines
of the chorus
are word for word. I finally let him play some songs.....we had gaggles of
goosebumps.
He became a heckler after many shots, Kurt had him thrown out, and I wrote
this song.

I miss you friend.
j.

THE SON OF JOHNNY HORTON

He lives by himself
In an old backpack home
He's always polite
He's always alone

He's just a victim
Of another man's dream
Besides Vietnam
He never complains

He said, "I am the lost son of the late Johnny Horton,
if you don't believe me I'll play you a song.
Drugs and good music is all that has saved me.
That is my secret, don't pass it along."

He'll look through your eyeballs
to open your mind.
He said,"Depression is petty,
and always be kind.

I've been with the big stars,
boy listen to me
Dylan was beautiful,
Willie was free (I know you probably don't like that.)

But I am the lost son of the late Johnny Horton,
I know every word to all daddy's songs.
Drugs and good music is all that has saved me.
That is my secret, don't pass it along."

His earlobes are hidden
by the tattoos he wears.
A diamond for hope,
a heart for his dear.

Under his left eye
a prison tattoo,
a teardrop of sorrow
in dark faded blue.

But, he is the lost son of the late Johnny Horton,
If you don't believe him, he'll play you a song.
Drugs and good music is all that has saved him.
That is my secret, don't pass it along.

Three Steps to Political Success

2004-06-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

Every good coach, politican, middle manager, and/or leader of any type of organization, gang, or whatever always says something along these lines. It's the perfect way to answer any question regarding change or direction. It's all about showing improvement, and I feel good just writing them...

1. Are we where we want to be? No.

2. Are we moving in the right direction? Absolutely.

3. And, when you look at where we've come from, we've already come along way.

Reagan

2004-06-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

It's a little weird to be in the same county as the former president. It's weird to see automobiles on 101 going to/from a funeral for the former president and to see and hear the jets coming back from D.C. It's weird to be in a state ran by a the former governor turned president. It's been a week filled with listening to Californians and Ventura County residents tell Ronny stories. And, it's really weird being less than an hour from Simi. I must confess, I thought Reagan died a few years ago, but after this week I know otherwise...

The HIM Method

2004-06-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

I was recently reminded about a technique used to not only get into the pants of certain women, but to also get into their heads. Not only does it work, but you probably know someone using it right now (although I'm quite sure he doesn't fully realize it).

H - Humiliate - The chosen victim gets "broken down" by a series of subtle comments or actions directed toward their insecurities. Often this involves what Andy Pate calls "The Fat Bitch Method". Most women feel insecure about their weight so why not exploit that? Remind the girls that they are damn lucky to be with a stud, and that they really better either learn to swallow, or shed a few more pounds...

I - Intimidate - This often means going a little nuts. Throw some shit around every now and then. Maybe give her a good push. Scare the fuck out of her. Let her KNOW who is the stronger of the two...

M - Manipulate - Since results are just the byproducts of behaviors, the third step should fall in line after the first two points are hit. Leave her sitting at home depressed while heading out and starting back at number 1 with someone else always does the trick...

Brought Again Blues

2004-06-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

When I like a girl I get nervous
If I ask about the weather
and she doesn't know or barely replies
I wonder if she really likes me
In other words
I get a little creepy
Dogma says, "It's a hundred times better
to be friends with someone
than it is to be in love with them."
Maybe he is right
Besides it is raining somewhere....

BUT

If a girl likes me
and starts getting all nervous
and starts asking strange questions
and looks sad when I don't reply
I think: Thank God it's you and not me this time...

Nothing Blue About Being Southern...OR...Everything Southern About Being Blue

2004-06-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

...He thought the experience might be further enhanced by an aggressive play, so he carefully moved his hands and undid the two top buttons of her sweater, gently slipped his hand inside, and firmly cupped her no-bra perfect left breast - just holding it for a second before taking the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. At the pressure, slight as it was, she almost recoiled - but then relaxed, yielding, even coming forward a little, as the nipple began to swell while he softly squeezed and rolled it between his fingers. This "submission" - allowing a man to fondle her breasts - as insignificant as it might seem, had an effect on her that went quite beyond whatever immediate sensation it may have produced, and caused her to apply herself with obviously real and mounting excitement. While she continued, closed-eyed and breathing hard, her hands groped, opening the top of his pants, taking them down enough to put her hands inside and grip his bare waist, and then his ass, urgently pulling him toward her, sucking voraciously, with gasps and moans, almost painful - though occasionally taking so much that she gagged.

And now, with her breast in play and this convincing show of passion, he could only think of her as purely woman, and wondered if this moment might not be extremely opportune for the emancipating experience (he now felt) she needed, which he wouldn't mind performing, and his inclination toward this was heightened as he looked down on the lithe curve of her body, curled spoon-like, her black slacks taut over her perfectly rounded bottom, beneath which he could faintly discern the panty-line, and wondered if she were wet, and his hand almost went out involuntarily to touch her there (thinking if her nipple responds, why not her clit?) but then, on a stab of intuition, he withdrew - touching her there, he was suddenly sure, might blow the whole thing (she probably wasn't ready for that yet). He made a mental note to use such a situation in a screenplay sometime, and a second note to be sure and fuck her as soon as possible - then he returned his attention to her fabulous head, and as he did, she stopped for a second and looked up with a soft smile, all breathless, dewy-eyed, and shimmering wet lips.

"Are you going to come in my beautiful mouth?"

"Uh, something like that, " he said, thinking, ‘My God is she going to stop now’?

She nodded, closed her eyes, opened her mouth, then looked up at him, assuming her little-girl pout. "I guess I have to swallow it, don’t I?"

"Yep."

She smiled her secret smile. "Good. I want to swallow it."

She resumed in earnest while he fondled both nipples, squeezing them hard, and she was reacting more ravenously the harder he squeezed. When he started to come, he let go of her nipples and took her head in his hands, holding it and pulling it to him, wanting to come as deep inside her beautiful mouth as possible, to explode against the very back of her virgin throat. And she devoured it, gulping and sucking as in some insatiable desperation, until every last drop was drained - and he, in a state of collapse, weakly pushed her head away.

"Wow," he murmured.

She looked up at him, her huge eyes shimmering, happy knowing she had pleased hime. "Hmm," her pink tongue moved around her glistening lips, "It’s strange, I always thought there would be more of it."

"Well...it's very rich."

"Oh, it's fantastic, it tastes so...I don't know, so alive."

He closed his eyes, reached out and found her hand.

"Yeah, I guess it would at that."

She laughed softly, closing her eyes too, and snuggling up to him, and together like that, they fell into a deeply peaceful sleep - there on the cool grassy bank of the silver mountain lake....

This moment appreciated...

2004-06-02T01:51:00.000-07:00

Feeling Horrible
There's nothing to do while she
Sleeps but wait awhile

top 5 favorite american 20th century poets

2004-05-27T23:11:00.000-07:00

1. bukowski
2. brautigan
3. patchen
4. kerouac
5. abbey

and you?

High - Low

2004-05-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

High (Tie) - Jacking off in the shower this morning, the first drink of Yukon Jack at roughly 10:11AM.

Low - Watching the guy on Maury Povich learn that his child wasn't really his and that it was his wife's secret lover's kid.

Nickel Dick takes over.......

2004-05-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

In case you missed it the first time around, I (Richard Enfacto III) am in control of the blog AND the email. Dave willed it to me before he left. He's not dead in the physical sense, or even the emotional - he is currently in battle with Dogma over what to keep in and take out before the imaginary deadline. I will be posting my underground adult comic strip sometime in the near future, as I am currently saving my unemployment checks (I recently quit a job, and the company failed to appear at the hearing), and when I save up enough I will put my stuff at a site to be named later. I have been much afraid of the internet, but it seems like the future so what the hell. Regardless, I feel it my calling from God to share my ideas with the world considering I have been so blessed and have given my life to Jesus in the interim. Moreover, it was never really my life to begin with so therefore, I can only do what the Lord wants. However, it seems in the best interest to my other readers to have an alternative to the hardcopy. See ya around...

Sorry, BUT...

2004-05-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

Dave Ray is dead..........
Dave Ray is dead.........
Dave Ray is dead........
Dave Ray is dead.......

Deceased....

Passed Away...

Gone...

Forgotten

Expired like a magazine subscription....

folded

Psalms 37, Gotta Love 'Ol King Dave...

2004-05-27T00:54:00.000-07:00

1 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.
2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.
10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.
11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
12 The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.
13 The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.
14 The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.
15 Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.
16 A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.
17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.
18 The LORD knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.
19 They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.
20 But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the LORD shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.
21 The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous showeth mercy, and giveth.
22 For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.
23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.
25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
26 He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed.
27 Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.
28 For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved forever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.
29 The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.
30 The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.
31 The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.
32 The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.
33 The LORD will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.
34 Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.
35 I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree.
36 Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found.
37 Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.
38 But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off.
39 But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble.
40 And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.

Richard Enfacto III, Nickel Dick OFFICIALLY takes over...

2004-05-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

For the record, I have been blogging 90% of the time anyway. All the swear words, anything that has pissed anyone off has been all my idea. I have been "pretending" to be Dave Ray, and have never even been to California. I will be writing now about my life, in first person going forward. Sorry if I offended anyone who thought this was Dave Ray...I truly aplogize. I never asked Dave to use his name, and I occasionally will pretend to be him at times, but it recently occured to me that some people might really think Dave uses offensive language and has unconventional ideas and beliefs. The truth is Dave is a pretty mainstream guy who enjoys writing the occasional poem. Mostly Dave just eats and sleeps. I have been keeping a close eye on the number of the hits the page is getting, and am a little worried everyone (sometimes as many as 25 people) might get the idea that Dave is a troublemaker or might cause problems for any potential employers (or any current ones). I will slowly make a transistion to my new site which is still unnamed as soon as I get the time. The comic has been in demand and I have been thinking about finally using the internet as a marketing tool. Time will tell......In the meanwhile, please know that Dave Ray is a fairly open-minded hetrosexual, moderate conservative liberal who just wants to one day own a home.....

Things Take a Terrible Turn

2004-05-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

sick and twisted and…
HURT
like a 17 year old cat with a broken leg
limping onto a field
one last time…
Dying of putrefaction
Capturing moments on someone else’s dime
Trading time at uncomfortable hours
Enforcing rules…
Resting…
Hiding…
from 168 hours minus
56 for sleep
and…
47 for work
and…
the rest spent dreading the drive
seven to six
then
five to four
four by ten by
bi-weekly
semi-monthly
broken down installments of
annual premiums minus
gasoline
exchanged for…
death

Namedropping at the Greek Restaurant

2004-05-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

Last night I was invited to dinner at a trendy Ventura Greek restaurant by an elderly couple that seemed to hold the key to living a full life. Whitley Harris, 87 is the son of an old screenwriter named, Ray Harris. His younger bride, 82, is a retired banker and a woman of the world who speaks, writes, and reads 5 languages (She left Warsaw post World War 2, moved to Greece, and then moved to Los Angeles). We talked about her love of travel and his love of cars. We also talked about a ’52 Triumph Renown that was once owned by their dear friend and Hollywood actor, Brian Aherne (He was a popular actor when the screen was mostly Black and White). We drank two bottles of wine, and they invited me over to their house where we drank Greek brandy and I got to see the old prize winning automobile. I am now thoroughly convinced that the key to staying alive is one part passion, one part travel, one part brandy, and three parts red wine…

Holding Hands Haiku

2004-05-23T23:02:00.000-07:00

Hands are very nice things,
Especially after they,
Have been making love...

Fate Brought Us Here.......

2004-05-22T01:08:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this at you because I'm worried that it missed you the first four times. Don't you get it? It's a time machine, this writing-publishing-reading stuff. I am there with you RIGHT NOW. RIGHT FUCKING NOW. You still think it's chance that your eyes are on these words? Just a cosmic roll of an infinite set of dice? That somehow we connected? That my fingers can type on a machine time zones away and in moments......BOOM - hit you like we've walked around this place endless times before? Guess what, we have, and we will....continue onward birds of a feather and the like. There's a reason, just embrace it. And, smile and cry at the madness and absurdity of being alive with never ending potential. Writing, producing, directing, starring in a role we were both born to play. It's insane. Stop and think about it, RIGHT NOW! Take just one moment, this moment to realize that in a snap it's all going to be over, and all that will be left are the connections, the memories of life, the stories someone else will tell about who we were, who we are. I've seen and felt both sides of the emotional rollercoaster, and the gun is back in the glove-compartment. And, I know it will come out once again, but right now - THIS moment....I'm just thankful we got to share a little time. You are reading these words for a reason. And, I wrote them for you to read. We planned it maybe a long time ago, PLEASE remember, because I have not forgotten.......